By Jeffrey Ford, on March 1st, 2010,
I recently had the working managers in my MBA class on execution (as in implementation, not hanging) undertake an exercise to improve relationships with the people with whom they work. In particular, we were interested in whether or not they could improve their affinity (liking) for people they currently did not like very much. They discovered they could and that it was easier to do than they thought it would be.
There are lots of reasons why we don’t like some people at work: they don’t treat us or others the way we think they should, they create problems for us and others, they don’t do what they say they will, and so on. For the most part, these differences don’t create problems for us and we can go on about our work without much difficulty. But occasionally the fact that we don’t like them, or the things they do, gets in our way. It is at these times that our lack of affinity for them actually works against us; our effectiveness is reduced, our stress increases, and we lose our sense of humor. Work gets harder and more unpleasant and it takes longer and more effort to get things done. And, we blame them.
What we fail to consider in all this is that it is OUR lack of affinity for them that is an issue. It is not surprising that we treat people we like differently than the people we don’t. Nor is it surprising that we use the fact we like or dislike someone as a justification for how we treat them. When asked why we do or don’t do things for others, we are likely to respond (if truthful) “I like/don’t like them”. We act as if they are responsible for our liking or disliking them; that it is their fault we don’t have much affinity for them. As a result, we believe that unless and until they change, our relationship with them has little chance of improving. We are not responsible.
Like most people, the managers in my MBA class bought into this line of reasoning. That is, until they did an exercise in which each one of them wrote a letter to three people they didn’t particularly like. In the letter, they were to write out exactly what they would say to the person to authentically:
1. Acknowledge the person for something they had done but which the manager had not acknowledged, e.g., completing a project on time;
2. Appreciate something about the person, e.g., a good sense of humor;
3. Apologize for a mistake or misunderstanding the manager was responsible for but had not owned up to, e.g., not providing clear directions on an assignment; and
4. Amend an agreement that had been broken but had been stepped over, e.g., an agreement to meet on a weekly basis which wasn’t kept.
What surprised each and every manager was that they had more affinity for the person after they wrote the letter than before. They discovered that it was their interpretations, assessments, evaluations, and conclusions about the other person that was the source of their liking or disliking them, not the other person. They realized that they could be responsible for their affinity toward others and that if they were willing, they could shift that affinity. What they found most exciting was that they could potentially improve their working relationships with other people if they were willing to authentically engage in something as simple as acknowledging, appreciating, apologizing, and amending agreements with them.
By Jeffrey Ford, on February 18th, 2010,
During a recent meeting with a group of managers from COSI in Columbus, OH, one of them asked about the role of inspired understanding in getting people to do things. She was proposing that the primary difference between effective managers and less effective leaders was that effective leaders presented their ideas in a more compelling and inspiring manner that made people “want to do” things. As a result, she believed people understood what was to be done AND were motivated to do it, and that was really the key to effective leadership.
No doubt, inspired understanding can get people excited and energized, and there are numerous books and websites that focus on being an inspirational leader. But inspired understanding is not enough. If it were, Obama and other inspirational leaders would be far more effective and successful than they are. If leaders want reliable action from others they will need requests and accountability.
One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is to assume that when people understand something, they will take the appropriate actions on their own. That somehow the excitement and engagement that comes from being inspired will automatically translate into effective action. Unfortunately, understanding, even inspired understanding, does not cause reliable action. During the 2008 Presidential campaign, there was considerable speculation whether the younger voters who were inspired by Obama would, in fact, vote. This speculation shows that the link between inspired understanding and action is not direct or tight.
How many times have we attended meetings, conferences, or seminars in which we were inspired by what was said and then left the event and did nothing? We may have talked about how great the event was, or even what difference it would make if people did the things that were talked about, but then still did nothing. Or, maybe some of us did take action. Maybe we were one of the one’s who saw the value and importance in what was said and initiated some actions on our own only to find that no one else was. No, inspired understanding is not enough.
If leaders want action, reliable action, then the way to get people into action is by having performance conversations in which they make requests and then holding people accountable for their promises through closure conversations. The American Society of Training and Development (ASTD) conducted a study to determine under what conditions people are most likely to complete a task. Their results indicate that people are six times more likely to do something when they promise actions, results, or outcomes to someone else (65%) than when they just hear a good idea (10%). And they are almost certain (95%) to complete a task when they have a scheduled appointment where they will be held to account for their promise.
Requests provide people with an opportunity to take specific actions that forward the accomplishment of something that may, or may not, inspire them. Well formulated requests let people know what is wanted and needed, when it is wanted and needed, and why it matters. Getting people inspired and not making a request gets everyone buzzed, but gives them no outlet for the energy. As the ASTD study shows, leaders who assume inspired understanding is sufficient will be frequently disappointed. People may “feel good” about the leader and the message, but little will happen.
But requests must come with accountability. Accountability is built in the interactions between people in which they account for the status of the promises they made to each other. As the ASTD study shows, if this accounting does not happen, there is a substantial reduction in the likelihood people will do what they promised. As a result, leaders lose credibility and trust by failing to follow through on their requests.
Inspired understanding clearly can energize people. But if leaders want reliable and appropriate actions, they will combine inspired understanding with requests and accountability. Otherwise, they run the risk of becoming “motivational speakers” people like listening to, but do nothing with what they hear.
By Jeffrey Ford, on February 15th, 2010,
It is said that when Caesar invaded England, he burned his boats to let his men know that there was no way home. The only options were victory or death. For most of us, the idea of cutting off all retreat is unnerving. We like to keep our options open, to have a back door escape, to have a way out.
Escape hatches, however, can undermine our success. When it comes to the promises we make, it helps us keep them if we cultivate a “no alternative” attitude in which failure is not an option. One way to do this is to root out any talk about “I’ll try”, or “I’ll do my best”, or “I’ll see”. I have a friend Blair who has a habit of saying “No problem” in response to the requests made of him. When I first heard Blair say that, I asked, “How can you say ‘no problem’ when you don’t know if it can be done?” His response was “If I go into something with that point of view, I am much more open to what is required and willing to take it on because I was the one who said it wan’t going to be a problem. This doesn’t mean it won’t take work or that there won’t be setbacks, there almost always are, it’s just that it gives me a different context in which to work than ‘I’ll try.” For Blair, saying “no problem” was a way of burning the boats.
Another way to create a “no alternative” attitude is to make promises to people you would never consider not keeping it. Stephanie, a manager, wanted to hire a staff person. Her boss, however, was unwilling to commit the additional resources. Undeterred, Stephanie promised that if the goal for which the staff person was being hired was not achieved, then her boss could not only assign the staff person to someone else, but also reduce her development budget (a big deal in this organization). By making this promise, which her boss accepted, Stephanie was burning the boats.
If you’re serious about making and keeping a promise, take a tip from Caesar: he wasn’t interested in trying, he was interested in conquest. As Yoda, the Jedi master in Star Wars said to Luke Skywalker “Do or do not. There is no try.” If you want more than half-hearted efforts from people, find a way to help them burn the boats.
By Jeffrey Ford, on February 8th, 2010,
Have you ever heard someone say, “What we need around here is more accountability”? If so, you are in good company because accountability, how to get it, and why people don’t have more of it is a popular topic in today’s workplace.
I encounter this complaint from the managers in my MBA classes as well as
Continue reading The Two Sides to Getting “More Accountability”
By Jeffrey Ford, on February 4th, 2010,
Credibility is essential to being an effective leader. One of the most powerful ways to build credibility is to own up to something that didn’t work and apologize for it.
When Ed Koch was mayor of New York, he was concerned about the number of accidents resulting from bikers darting in and out of traffic. Determined
Continue reading Want More Credibility? Own Up and Apologize
By Jeffrey Ford, on February 1st, 2010,
I recently got an email from – let’s call him Paul – a manager updating me on his attempts to interrupt the “high priority” manipulation that is so prevalent in organizations. Turns out he is becoming increasingly successful everywhere except with his boss. Apparently Paul’s boss doesn’t realize how he is undermining himself.
Here is what
Continue reading Is Demanding “Now” Undermining Leadership?
By Jeffrey Ford, on January 27th, 2010,
If you want to increase satisfaction at work, talk about the things people like. If you want to increase dissatisfaction, talk about what makes them unhappy.
I recently talked to a manager – let’s call him Roy – whose company had completed a series of employee satisfaction surveys. It turns out that although Roy’s unit scored
Continue reading Conversations Can Lower Satisfaction
By Jeffrey Ford, on January 13th, 2010,
A former Mastery of Execution student sent me the link to a great blog article posted by Fast Company entitled “2010: The Year of Saying ‘I Got It’ “. The focus of the article, written by Lynette Chiang, is how companies, as well as individuals, have gotten into the habit of not responding to inquiries
Continue reading Not Responding Can Cost You
By Jeffrey Ford, on January 11th, 2010,
I have been doing some research in preparation for a workshop on personal accountability a colleague and I are doing for MBA’s at the Fisher College. As I have been getting into it, I am beginning to notice more about what the absence of accountability sounds like when people talk. Consider the following example.
The other
Continue reading What the Absence of Accountability Sounds Like
By Jeffrey Ford, on January 7th, 2010,
I recently read a post by Todd Sattersten on new business books to watch for 2010. Todd makes his living reviewing business books and is very good at it, so I have added the four books he recommends to my “must read’ list for this year. I know some of Dan Pinks work and featured
Continue reading New Books for 2010
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