The Four Conversations: Daily Communication that Gets Results
by Jeffrey Ford and Laurie Ford. Published by Berrett-Koehler, San Francisco, CA, 2009.
Awarded Best Book in Management for 2009 by 800 CEO READ
Rated #5 Best Business Book of 2009 by The Globe and Mail
Realizing your goals takes more than passion, vision, and commitment: it takes talking to other people. To be successful, your talking must go beyond the rules of well-mannered communication skills. To get more of what you want and less of what you don’t want—in work and in life—depends on how well you use four types of conversations.
- Initiative Conversations: Whenever you propose something new or different – introduce a new goal, propose an idea, or launch some kind of change – you are initiating something. Effective Initiative Conversations will tell people what you want to accomplish, when you want to accomplish it, and why it matters.
- Understanding Conversations: There are times you want people to understand something, and to see the meaning of an idea, instruction, or goal. To have people connect a new idea to their current job, or engage in working toward a new goal, you need to have an effective Understanding Conversation. These will be 2-way exchanges with explanations, questions, and discussion about how things will be done, who will do them, and where the resources and results will be.
- Performance Conversations: If you want people to take an action or produce a result, you want to master Performance Conversations. These are the conversations that include specific requests and promises to clarify whatever actions, results, and other requirements (such as timing, quality, etc.) you expect someone to deliver. Performance Conversations are specifically designed to get people into action, and they provide the foundation for building accountability.
- Closure Conversations: Any time you report on the status of a project, follow-up on a request or promise, or tell people that a job is complete, you are having a Closure Conversation. These are the conversations that complete the past by closing out some piece of business, and they build credibility, accountability, and good relationships.
You use one or more of the four conversations every time you communicate! You can be more successful and effective, at work and in life, by improving your skills with each type of conversation. You can bring more trust, productivity, and accountability into your workplace, for more satisfying relationships and better teamwork. Use this practical guide to learn more about the four conversations, and you can turn your communication challenges into accomplishments.
Other Books
I am frequently asked to recommend books dealing with management, leadership, change, and personal productivity. I have read each of the books on this list and consider each worthy of your time. Some of them are required in my classes, all of them are recommended. They are listed in the order in which I added them (last one entered at top), rather than in order of preference. I welcome your comments as well as your suggestions for other books that would be of value to leaders and managers.
Mark Samuel and Sophie Chiche, The Power of Personal Accountability: Achieve What Matters to You, Xephor Press, 2004
This is a great book on developing and expanding personal accountability for yourself and others. A key concept in my Mastery in Execution course is accountability, and this is the book I have students read. The book distinguishes between the accountability loop and the victim loop and how to identify when you are in the later. Its an easy read that pacts a punch.
D. Michael Abrashoff, It’s Your Ship: Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy, Warner Business Books, 2002
I have frequently been asked to refer a good book on leadership to readers and managers. This is the book I recommend. Its a true story of a naval captain who took over a ship and turned it into the best ship in the Navy – and then trained his successor who made it even better! The techniques are solid and can be employed by almost anyone, even if you aren’t the ship’s captain. This has been a required book in my MBA management class. If you are looking for one book on leadership, this could be it.
Rodd Wagner and James Harter, 12 The Elements of Great Managing, Gallup Press, 2006
I have used this as a required book in my MBA management class. Why? Because it is well written, is based in solid research, has plenty of great examples, and, most important, shows that one manager can make a difference. My students frequently complain they can’t do some of the things they learn because they don’t have the power or position. This book makes it clear that those aren’t limitations.
Malcolm Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking, Back Bay Books, 2007.
Managers are suppose to be make rational decisions. They are suppose to be cool under fire and to respond without being overly emotional. Interesting theory, but not very likely. This book is an eye opener to what happens when you don’t have time to think and have to make a decision – the result isn’t always pretty.
The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box, Berrett-Koehler, 2002.
This book is required in my MBA management class that is taken by all MBA students in the Working Professionals Program. Why? Because it has managers confront the role they play in whether things work or not around them. Most of us think “they” are the problem and if they would just straighten out, things would work fine. Unfortunately, “they” don’t always straighten out, leaving us with a problem. This book, which is written in a very easy story format (making it a fast read), gives a compelling explanation for why “they” don’t and what can be done about it.
Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Sucess, Little Brown, 2008.
This book provides significant insights into why some people are successful and others are not. It challenges the American myth that people can “become anything” if they are willing to work hard enough and just pull themselves up by their boot straps. The fact is, there are other factors at work. While this book does not excuse poor performance, it does explain why people with similar capabilities do not perform at the same level.
Steve Zaffron & Dave Logan, The Three Laws of Performance: Rewriting the Future of Your Organization and Your Life, Jossey-Bass, 2009.
These are the laws of performance, not the rules, principles, suggestions, or guides. To make such a claim is very ambitious and could lead to charges of arrogance. However, as someone who has practiced these laws (though not mastered them), they are very powerful. Based on extensive personal experience as well as academic research, the three laws provide the basis for improving individual, group, and organization performance. I know both authors well, and can attest to the value of what they talk about. One caution, however. This is not a book you read to learn about something, though you will do that. It is a book that you read to put to work and practice. If you aren’t willing to do that, don’t waste your time reading it because it will make no difference.
Tony Simons, The Integrity Dividend: Leading by the Power of Your Word, Jossey-Bass, 2008.
Students who have taken my Mastery in Execution class know that one of the foundations of mastery is operating with integrity. Until now, I have had to rely on articles to get the point of integrity across. This book, however, does an execllent job of explaining what happens when we invest (don’t invest) in building and maintaining integrity. Based on research and interviews, Simons leads the reader though what is required to gain the competitive advantage that comes with integrity. Be forewarned, however, it takes courage to do what he is proposing.
George Akerlof & Robert Shiller, Animal Spirits: How Human Psychology Drives the Economy, and Why It Matters for Global Capitalism, Princeton University Press, 2009
This book was written for those of us who are tired of hearing how consumers are “economically rational” and how markets are “efficient”. Behavioral economics is currently the rage in the Obama administration and this book is one of the must reads. I found the book to be validating of some things I and challenging of others, but very well done. I originally got it to learn more about what gets groups of people to change since that is a persist challenge in the conduct of organization change. I got more than I bargained for and learned more than a few things about economics and economic policy.
John Medina, Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School, Pear Press, 2008.
This book came highly recommend to be by someone who is “into” brain science when I asked him for some sources. Knowing virtually nothing about brain science, I found this book to be both entertaining and enlightening. It gets into the essence of brain science without getting into all the scientific language that can become troublesone. I particiulaly liked finding out that the brain does not multitask.
