I recently participated in a book group discussion about The Four Conversations with the managers of COSI, the science museum in Columbus Ohio. Our topic for this session was Initiative Conversations, which are used anytime you want to propose or recommend a new idea, project, or undertaking that involves others. Initiative Conversations tell people what your idea is, the time frame it involves, and why it is important. It turns out that WHY is really important.
During our discussion, several people pointed out how often they are not told why something is being undertaken and how much it bothers them. Laurie and I heard similar comments from the managers and supervisors at Rolls Royce in Ohio who were going through several organizational changes. When we told them about the four different types of conversations, they pointed out that they were not told why the particular changes were being made.
What was particularly interesting with both the COSI and Rolls Royce groups was that they were not so much concerned with the WHY itself as the fact that they were not being told. In other words, it wasn’t important to them what the reason for the changes were, or why it they were important as much as it was that they were not being told; they were given no explanations. For the people at Rolls Royce, the fact that they were not being told was seen as disrespectful and distrusting.
People want a reason for why you want something, and if you don’t give one, they can become resentful and hold it against you. Some people may argue with the reason, dislike the reason, or even think its stupid, but they want a reason. There is a story about people waiting in line to use a copier when someone tries to cut into the line without giving a reason. People already inline got upset and “threw” the person out of line. However, when another person tried the same thing, and gave the reason that they were in a hurry to meet a deadline, they were allowed to cut. Telling people why you want something or explaining why you are doing something helps people to make sense of what is happening.
If you want more effective working relationships with people, try telling them WHY something is important.