Know Your Silver Bullets

If you want to kill a werewolf, you use a silver bullet.  If you want to stop productivity, there are silver bullets that will do that too.  To avoid being stopped, know your silver bullets – and make friends with them.

Folklore has it that if you want to kill a werewolf, you do it with a silver bullet.  In fact, the story is that a mere threat of being shot with a silver bullet will stop one in its tracks.  Ordinary people are also stopped in their tracks, sometimes with a single word or phrase, or tone of voice. These silver bullets stop productivity in its tracks.

A silver bullet is unique to each of us: it’s whatever way we don’t want people to think, say, or feel about us.  If we’re afraid people will think we’re arrogant or inconsiderate, then any hint that we are being arrogant or inconsiderate can stop us cold. If we’re proud of our honesty and integrity, or our intelligence and open-mindedness, or our principles and values, then we can be brought down by someone suggesting we’re dishonest, stupid, biased, or unprincipled.

Silver bullets are very effective – they always alter our behavior.  I know a manager who won’t ask his boss for anything – he doesn’t want to appear “incompetent”. Another friend doesn’t want to be thought of as “pushy”, so she avoids delegating assignments and does it all herself. An executive says he won’t apologize because he doesn’t want people to think he is “weak”. When we’re hit, or even threatened, by a silver bullet, we stop what we were doing and focus on how to deal with the insult.

The solution?  Get to know your silver bullets. What’s the worst, most offensive thing someone could think, say, or feel about you? What is the most important aspect of your reputation? What is the worst way to be perceived in the workplace? The answers to these questions will reveal potential silver bullets that give others control, steer you toward making reactive decisions, and jeopardize your performance.

Then consider disarming the bullets by “making friends” with them.  One way to do this is by public acknowledging the silver bullet through a closure conversation.  For example, one of my silver bullets is being called or thought of as “stupid” (and I have a Ph.D. to prove I’m not!).  Whenever I have a concern that people might feel or think that, I say something like “I know I might appear stupid at times, and its true that there are many things I am stupid about, but this is not one of them.”  I have even introduced myself to MBA classes making a statement like this just so that it will not be an issue for me.

Silver bullets are never about others, they are about our fears.  Maybe those accusations don’t deserve the power we’ve given to them.

[Adapted from Deadline Busting: How to be a Star Performer in Your Organization by Jeffrey and Laurie Ford]