We often get upset with ourselves when we forget something. We also get upset with others when they forget. It seems we think that people are suppose to remember and that forgetting is somehow a mistake – particularly if it something important to us. No doubt forgetting causes problems, particularly when other people depend on or expect you to remember. But forgetting is the norm, not remembering. So if you want to improve your performance, or the performance of those you depend on, help them remember.
Flying back from a seminar in California, I read an article by Clive Thompson in Wired Magazine (Issue 17.08) entitled “Forgetful by Design”. In it, he discusses how we forget most things and that forgetting is really useful. However, the internet, particularly You-Tube, Facebook, and other sites where all manner of personal information is posted make it more difficult to forget. Why? Because we can Google people and find all kinds of things that might otherwise have been forgotten. The internet, unlike our memory, doesn’t forget. Even though it might be hard to find, if its posted, its out there. So, he proposes that we now have to remember not to remember.
What has all this to do with management, leadership, or anything else for that matter? First, it reminds us that in the absence of some mechanism to keep us from forgetting, we (and others) probably will. Posting something on the internet keeps it in existence. It doesn’t disappear. We might forget that it is out there, but a good search will find it, allowing prospective employers, spouses, and others to recall what we did.
Second, it reminds us that if you want to remember something, or want others to remember something, you have to find a way to keep it in existence. One of the reasons people keep “To Do” lists is so that they will remember what they have to do. The same with schedules, they help us remember meetings, appointments, and when we will work on things. Relying on memory is not sufficient in today’s world.
If you find that people are often late with things, start sending them polite and respectful reminders to see if there is anything they need from you or that you can do to support them. If people don’t write things down they say they will do for you, send them an email thanking them and briefly outline what it was they agreed to do. The point here is to give them some support in remembering, since the odds are they will forget.
